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I watched as each of them tee’d off. They piled back into their carts, slowing as they approached where I sat. “Sorry guys,” I said, “I am all out of beer. I am fixing to head back in and get some more.” My little white lie worked. In the distance, I saw a lone cart making its way down the cart path. It was Tom and Bill. Tom was driving. He pulled right up next to where I was stationed under a large shade tree. “Hey,” Tom called out, Fancy seeing you again!” Bill was smoking on a cigar. He stepped out of the cart, grabbed his driver and two balls from the ball holder in the cart. As he walked up the slight slope to the tee box, Tom stayed behind in the cart. We both watched as Bill took a few practice swings. “I have wait for the assholes in front of us to clear the fairway,” Bill announced. Tom nodded his head and looked over at me. I had my legs propped up in the front slope of my cart. “Can I ask you a question?” Tom inquired. “Shoot,” I replied. “Do you always go pantiless?”. I don’t believe that. I think racism is alive and well in America. It’s gone undercover, that’s all. A lot of people think I’m paranoid and just need to lighten up. They think I’m a madman with outdated ideals. I’m far from it. I’m your best, last and only line of defense against the racists, the sociopaths, the man-haters and the monsters of humanity. I know that there are women out there who’ve hidden a diabolical device inside their vaginas to hurt unsuspecting men in the worst way possible. I was aware of the existence of this diabolical machine long before some foolish men in Hollywood made a movie about it. That’s why I don’t sleep with random women without inspecting their plumbing. It’s not just AIDs and unplanned pregnancies that you have to worry about anymore. The world is getting worse. I also know all about racist white people’s movements, from the neo-Nazis to the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan and the New Reich. Did you know that white women are the fastest-growing.
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